Monday, April 10, 2017

Children's Story Draft

Never Satisfied Suzy

1) Little Suzy never satisfied. She always cried and cried, never pleased.
2) Never satisfied Suzy sat down at the dinner table. Her mom put broccoli on her plate and Suzy frowned.
3) Suzy threw herself on the ground. Suzy rolled round and round, kicking and screaming. Suzy was steaming.
4) Never satisfied Suzy went to the park with her friend named Mark.
5) Suzy wanted to swing, but all the swings were taken. Mark said "Suzy don't be shaken. Let's go down the slide instead."
6) Suzy shouted, "No! I want to go home!" Mark replied, "Okay, then to home we will roam."
7) Never satisfied Suzy woke up on Monday morning. Time for school, but Suzy said, "No! School makes me want to drool."
8) Suzy pulled the covers over her face and refused to get up. Her mom replied, "Come on Suzy all grown ups get up out of bed."
9) Suzy got up, but never stopped pouting. As Suzy kept pouting, her mom kept shouting. All the way to school Suzy pouted like a fool.
10) Never satisfied Suzy had to go to the grocery store with her mom. Of course, Suzy threw a fit, said she would stay in the car and sit.
11) Suzy's mom said, "These fits have got to stop. I have to shop!"
12) Little Suzy cried and cried, trying to get her way. But Suzy's mom said, "No Suzy! Not today!"
13) Continuing, her mom said, "Now Suzy, we don't always get our way, sometimes we have to say, 'that will be okay'."
14) And for the first time never satisfied Suzy looked a little satisfied. I guess sometimes Suzy is satisfied.


(I do not plan on doing my own illustrations. I would like to either get images from the internet or have a someone from graphic design do them.)

2 comments:

  1. 1) Little Suzy (was) never satisfied. She always cried and cried, never pleased.
    2) Never satisfied Suzy sat down at the dinner table. Her mom put broccoli on her plate and Suzy frowned.
    3) Suzy threw herself on the ground. Suzy rolled round and round, kicking and screaming. Suzy was steaming.
    4) Never satisfied Suzy went to the park with her friend named Mark.
    5) Suzy wanted to swing, but all the swings were taken. Mark said "Suzy don't be shaken. Let's go down the slide instead."
    6) Suzy shouted, "No! I want to go home!" Mark replied, "Okay, then to home we will roam."
    7) Never satisfied Suzy woke up on Monday morning. Time for school, but Suzy said, "No! School makes me want to drool."
    8) Suzy pulled the covers over her face and refused to get up. Her mom replied, "Come on Suzy all grown ups get up out of bed."
    9) Suzy got up, but never stopped pouting. As Suzy kept pouting, her mom kept shouting. All the way to school Suzy pouted like a fool.
    10) Never satisfied Suzy had to go to the grocery store with her mom. Of course, Suzy threw a fit, said she would stay in the car and sit.
    11) Suzy's mom said, "These fits have got to stop. I have to shop!"
    12) Little Suzy cried and cried, trying to get her way. But Suzy's mom said, "No Suzy! Not today!"
    13) Continuing, her mom said, "Now Suzy, we don't always get our way, sometimes we have to say, 'that will be okay'."
    14) And for the first time never satisfied Suzy looked a little satisfied. (I guess sometimes Suzy is satisfied.) Maybe another phrase to end things.


    I like how the story rhymes throughout and how Suzy learned how to be satisfied at the end.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1) Little Suzy never satisfied. She always cried and cried, never pleased.
    2) Never satisfied Suzy sat down at the dinner table. Her mom put broccoli on her plate and Suzy frowned.
    3) Suzy threw herself on the ground. Suzy rolled round and round, kicking and screaming. Suzy was steaming.
    4) Never satisfied Suzy went to the park with her friend named Mark.
    5) Suzy wanted to swing, but all the swings were taken. Mark said "Suzy don't be shaken. Let's go down the slide instead." (Maybe use wc that's more appropriate for the audience)
    6) Suzy shouted, "No! I want to go home!" Mark replied, "Okay, then to home we will roam."
    7) Never satisfied Suzy woke up on Monday morning. Time for school, but Suzy said, "No! School makes me want to drool."
    8) Suzy pulled the covers over her face and refused to get up. Her mom replied, "Come on Suzy all grown ups get up out of bed." (This could be confusing to kids, it makes it sound like she could be an adult - reword)
    9) Suzy got up, but never stopped pouting. As Suzy kept pouting, her mom kept shouting. All the way to school Suzy pouted like a fool.
    10) Never satisfied Suzy had to go to the grocery store with her mom. Of course, Suzy threw a fit, said she would stay in the car and sit.
    11) Suzy's mom said, "These fits have got to stop. I have to shop!"
    12) Little Suzy cried and cried, trying to get her way. But Suzy's mom said, "No Suzy! Not today!"
    13) Continuing, her mom said, "Now Suzy, we don't always get our way, sometimes we have to say, 'that will be okay'."
    14) And for the first time never satisfied Suzy looked a little satisfied. I guess sometimes Suzy is satisfied. (The ending is anticlimactic, maybe make something happen to her that makes her realize she has to be satisfied sometimes).

    I love the idea for your story! It’s definitely easy enough for children to understand and I liked your use

    ReplyDelete